Friends with benefits
by SalvatoreQuinn
Summary: 'He breaks me every single time.' They're best friends & lovers until they're torn apart by secrets, lies and pride. 'A love like that – comes with a price.' AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

_My friend MarlieSalvatore won't be able to continue her ff; Friends with benefits - so I will continue it for her and here it is, so, enjoy. I don't own the show or any of the characters._

* * *

"Where are you?"

His voice caused her to excuse herself and rush from the small group of people she was talking to. She didn't want to risk them hearing Damon if he chose to talk dirty and in a indecent manner. He had a habit of doing so.

"I told you I would be busy this afternoon." she hissed as she jogged towards the large kitchen.

Carol Lockwood always had kitchen staff available during her events and parties. It was standard; at least if you were the mayor's wife.

The cook looked at her in surprise when she flung open the door and walked right through the kitchen, stopping at the back door leading to the garden. She put a hand on the doorknob, ready to open it, if it became necessary for her to run for the hills.

"I need you." His voice was soft as velvet. "Now."

"Damon."

"Come on, party at the Lockwood's, so not your thing."

She sighed and pulled a hand through her hair. He was right. However, she was surprised that he was acting the way he was. The past week he'd been very clingy. More clingy than usual - but then again, Damon had never been clingy before, not like this. Elena took it as a sign that he was bored and out of things to do.

"But I'm busy." She paused and glanced over her shoulder to check if anyone was about to look in her direction. She didn't want Carol to catch her in the kitchen.

"The answer is no." She said and she could almost see the pout on his face, knowing he wouldn't accept her answer. Somehow he always managed to get his will through.

"Lena, come on."

"You have to put some ice on little Damon and wait until I get home." She rolled her eyes, knowing he would scowl at her if he saw the expression on her face.

"Little Damon is perfectly fine."

"Really?" She teased him.

Elena and Damon had known each other since kindergarten. They'd always been close friends. They had practically grown up together. Their family's had been a part of each other's life's since the beginning of time. The Gilbert's and the Salvatore's shared a unbreakable bond.

Elena had been 16 years old the first time they slept with each other. He'd been 17 and there had been a lot of alcohol involved.

It had been her first time. She had just wanted to get it over with. She didn't want to make it a big deal. She didn't feel the need to get hearts and flowers from a guy she was in love with; she wanted to lose her virginity and what could be better than lose it to someone she'd known her entire life?

Even though Damon had slept with other girls before her, both of them had been nervous – which wasn't more than natural. He'd fumbled with his hands and she had pressed herself against him. He'd been so hard inside his boxers; he'd been so ready for her.

There was no oral sex. No foreplay. Only two young people who had chosen to share an intimate experience with each other. They had kissed. It had felt strange to kiss her best friend, but that thought had disappeared when he'd pressed his member against her body.

They had taken off their clothes and laid down on the bed together. His hands had caressed her naked breasts. She had tried to relax but it had been difficult. Elena had caught his lips again and she had felt him rubbing himself against her.

She hadn't been worried. She'd mostly been nervous about whether it would hurt or not. She'd never been concerned about anything else. Not at that moment. She knew Damon would respect her and she trusted him.

Elena had pulled him over her and spread her legs wide. When the tip of his member touched her womb, she had involuntarily moved backwards. Damon had whispered to her to relax and then he'd pressed his head into her. She had gasped and thrown her arms around his neck. She held him close while her heart had been pounding hard in her chest, as he'd pressed himself into her completely.

It was a different and new sensation.

She'd groaned, more of pain than of pleasure. Damon had stroked away the lonely tear that had escaped from her eye, asking her if it hurt, if she wanted him to stop. Elena had shaken her head no. He'd started to move slowly, in and out of her.

Afterwards, she'd been worried about how their friendship would be affected, but they'd never made a big deal out of it. And when they had made it clear that they didn't have any romantic feelings for one another, the situation had improved.

Now, three years later, they still slept with each other. She trusted Damon more than anyone and they had been able to explore and discover many things about themselves, along with each other. He was an expert on her body. He played it like an instrument and was able to make her scream out of pleasure and she knew, without a doubt, where she could find his most sensitive spots.

He had an area behind his ear where his skin was very soft and if she nibbled at that spot, he always moaned in return. She felt powerful. After three years she knew his body better than anybody else.

"Lena, come on." He was the only person who was allowed to call her that and for good reasons. "No one will notice if you leave. I can pick you up." He said.

He enjoyed sending naughty text messages to her. Damon was more relaxed than she was, regarding PDA. There was a lot about their intimate relationship that she wanted to keep a secret. Therefore, Caroline was the only one who knew the truth about their friendship. The blonde herself had tried to lay her hands on Damon before Elena slipped and basically told her everything, except the details.

The blonde hadn't taken her seriously and Elena had to explain over and over again. When Caroline had let the information sink in, she started begging to get some dirty details. Although Elena was quite liberated when it came to sex, it didn't feel right to share every single detail about Damon and the way he made her climax.

She sighed and glanced at her watch, knowing he wouldn't stop nagging until she said yes. He would continue to call her until she gave up.

Defeated, she sighed. "All right, fine. But if you're not here in twenty minutes, I'll spend the rest of the evening with Caroline, listening to her constant chatter about someone's abs."

He snickered. "I'm outside."

"I'll be right there."

She put her iPhone back in her pocket and silently, walked out of the kitchen. She noticed how the cook and the rest of the staff watched her until she disappeared, apparently more than happy that she left.

Elena searched through the huge room, looking for her parents. Her father was talking to Marcus Fell and looked quite pleased when his friend laughed at one of his jokes.

Her father was a wonderful man and a great father. He could be tough but also fair. He worked a lot and when he got home from one of his business trips, he tried to spend as much time as he could with his family.

Elena had always had a good relationship with him. He understood her in a way that her mother didn't. Elena and Grayson were similar in many ways. Miranda, her mother, had passed most of her characteristics to Elena's younger brother, Jeremy. Just like their mother, he drew and created music.

Elena had never been musical. She couldn't sing even if her life depended on it. She liked to count, write and formulate different kind of plans with the help of numbers.

She felt her phone vibrate in her black shorts and walked over to the two men. Damon was apparently more impatient today than he used to be. Normally, he would at least be able to wait until she got home.

_From; Damon_  
_HURRY UP!_

Elena rolled her eyes and sent a message back to him.

_To; Damon  
I'll be there in a sec and keep it in your pants, Mr._

Grayson smiled when he saw his daughter approach and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Mr. Fell." She nodded at the older man, who raised his glass in response.

"Elena Gilbert. You're growing and becoming more beautiful with every day that goes by." He looked at Grayson. "Keep a watchful eye on your daughter, Gray."

"Thank you." She smiled in reply and Grayson clinked his glass with the man who gave his daughter the compliment.

"Dad." She turned to face him and he let go of her shoulders. "Is it okay if I leave?"

He looked questioningly at her, concern visible in his warm, familiar eyes. "You're not feeling well?"

"No." she lied. "I have a headache and would prefer to go home and crawl into bed."

"Of course." He nodded understandingly and fished for the keys in his jacket. "Do you have your own—"

"Yes." She nodded and showed him her keys.

He smiled at her. "Will you be okay? Otherwise—"

"No, it's okay." She insisted. "Damon's coming by later. He would bring some movies and chicken soup and there's family dinner tonight."

Her father wasn't stupid and knew with certainty that Damon was there to pick her up. Luckily he didn't know what kind of activities they engaged in. If he knew about their activities, the image of his calm daughter would vanish for all eternity.

"Okay. See you later, sweetheart."

He watched as his daughter walked through the room crowded with people and looked at Marcus, who nodded. "They are growing up too fast."

Grayson couldn't help but agree.

* * *

As she walked down the stairs of the Lockwood mansion, she saw his blue car waiting for her. She tried to hold back a smile, but failed when she reached the car and saw him. His dark hair was perfect and impeccably messy, like always. His blue eyes glittered as she opened the door and sank into the passenger seat beside him.

She'd lost count of how many times she'd been sitting in his car. She'd lost count of how many times she'd been throwing her legs around his waist, pushing him deeper into her. She'd forgotten how many times they'd been sweating together in the back seat of his car. She'd forgotten how many times the leather clad seats had given her a rash.

She'd lost count of how many times he'd given her an orgasm. She'd lost count of how many times she had slid up and down his length and felt his lips wrap around a stiff nipple. She'd forgotten how many times he'd entered her. She'd forgotten how many times he'd smiled at her and had taken away all her troubles. It was something that only Damon was able to do.

"It's good to see you." He said as he drove off and left the huge building behind.

"It's been three hours."

"So?" He shrugged indifferently. "I'm not aloud to miss my best friend?"

"There's a difference between missing someone and being obsessed."

"Ha, ha," Damon reached out his hand, tickling her. "Very funny."

"Damon, stop it." She chuckled in return, squirming in her seat. "Eyes on the road, Grandma."

He withdrew his hand, smiling at her playfulness. _He loved the sound of her laugh._

Elena leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She kicked of her shoes and stuck out her feet through the open window and relaxed.

"I swear, one day, a bird or a bug will hit your feet." Damon stated and glanced at her.

"Oh yeah?" She murmured. "A bug?"

"No body parts outside the car while it's moving; you know the rules."

"You're way too overprotecting." Elena said, her eyes still closed.

"I want to show you something and I'd be great if you didn't hurt yourself before I've showed you."

She carefully opened one eye and took a peek at him before she asked, "what is it?"

He turned onto a dirt road, trees surrounding them on both sides. He drove in silence.

"Damon?"

"It's a surprise."

She settled with that vague answer and rested softly against her seat while he drove. Silence had never been weird between them. She enjoyed that they could spend time together without talking. It felt good. It was so natural and at the same time it felt nice, too. There had been nights when she'd been lying awake, talking to him for several hours. It never bothered her that he tiredly murmured in reply and didn't remember half the things she'd said when he woke up. The most important thing was that he let her talk even though he was tired and just wanted to sleep. He let her talk even if he wanted her to be quiet.

Elena opened her eyes and glanced at him. Damon Salvatore. Her best friend. He was wearing a black t-shirt and dark shorts. He'd put on his sunglasses, one hand on the wheel, while the other was hanging out the window. He was a laid back driver. He never held the steering wheel with both of his hands. And most of the time, he drove faster than the signs allowed him to. Any sane or normal person would jump out of the car the minute they realized Damon's driving skills was of the more advanced class.

She loved him for a lot of reasons. She loved him for always being honest with her. She loved him for always being the one and constant thing in her life that never changed. She wouldn't be able to count all the reasons for loving him, there were simply too many of them. The most important part was that they were and always would be a part of each others life's - no matter what. Nothing could or would come between them. Elena would rather give her life than not having Damon as her closest friend.

"We're here." He said and pulled her from her thoughts.

They stepped out of the car and she stared in awe at the crystal-clear water in front of them. The lake was surrounded by green trees and bushes. From the mountain near the lake, flowed a small waterfall out of a crack in the large stone creation. The whole place was beautiful and she took a few steps forward and looked around in astonishment. It was incredibly beautiful.

"What is this place?" she asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I found it the other day. My grandfather used to bring my grandmother here."

"Really?" She looked at him in surprise, raising her eyebrows.

"Really." He smirked, reassuring her that he was telling the truth.

Damon walked over to her and laid his hands on her hips. He gently stroked his hand over her flat stomach and inhaled her perfume. It was such a simple act but it still got her skin to tingle with anticipation. His touch was electrifying.

"You've lost weight." He muttered and put his arms around her waist.

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing?"

He snorted before answering her. "Because I like your curves, your female forms." He whispered in her ear.

"Well, there's no need to worry. I have probably gained weight during the past few weeks. All thanks to Caroline and her obsession with chocolate." She chuckled and she could feel him smirk into her neck.

"I don't mind if you put on some weight, you need it."

"Why would any guy want a girl to gain weight?" She shook her head and smiled. "And the fact that you notice if I have gained or lost weight is ridiculous."

"What?" He exclaimed. "I see you naked all the time. It would have been strange if I didn't notice."

"Maybe." She shrugged and changed the subject. "I need to tell you something." She walked out of his embrace and he reluctantly let her go.

"What is it?"

"Kol Mikaelsen asked me to prom."

"Huh?" Damon dropped his jaw but quickly caught himself, shoved his annoyance to the side and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why?"

"I don't know." Elena turned to look at him. "Because he wanted to?"

"Or he lost a bet with some of his friends." He muttered.

"Thanks." She grimaced. "Can't believe I'm that ugly."

"What are you.." Damon frowned, looking at her in confusion.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that someone - a random guy - would actually ask me out on a date?"

"That's not what I meant." He shook his head slowly. "You know I didn't meant it like that."

"I know." She replied quietly.

"You said no, right?"

"No."

"Good." Damon nodded.

"No," Elena shook her head. "I meant 'no' to your question. Kol asked me to prom and I said yes."

"Have you lost your freaking mind?" Damon said as he started pacing back and forth. "The guy's a total douche bag."

"I guess there's a lot of things the two of you have in common, then?" She chuckled at him.

"Don't start," Damon mocked and stopped moving. "Seriously, though? Kol Mikaelsen."

"There's nothing wrong with him." Elena said sternly. _The guy was handsome, she couldn't deny that._

"No?" Damon lifted an eyebrow. "Tell me something about him. Something you like about him."

"He's–"

"Ha!" Damon yelled as he pointed at her. "You hesitated. I knew it!"

"Knew what?"

"You don't even like the guy!"

"I didn't get to finish my sentence." Elena glared at him. "He's polite."

"Oh, for the love of G–"

"What's wrong, Salvatore? Are you jealous?"

"Pfft, I don't get jealous. You know that."

"Okay." Elena turned away from him, knowing very well that their conversation was far away from being over.

"Did Caroline set you up with him?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

She could hear him question her answer. Even if Caroline had been the one to introduce them; Kol had still asked her out on his own terms and not because Caroline pushed him to do so. Kol was different from Damon in so many ways and it entertained her to find out more about him. _What if he was the one?_

"Forbes is causing you way too much trouble."

"Last time I checked, you were the one who got me into trouble."

"True." Damon stopped beside her. "You can still cancel your date."

"I don't want to cancel." She met his blue eyes.

"Elena, guys like him," Damon struggled to find the right words. "Guys like Kol, only want one thing."

"What's that?"

"Sex and a lot of different girls to fuck."

"Okay." Elena shrugged her shoulders.

Damon threw his arms in the air. "Are you listening to me?"

"Don't worry Damon, I know how to have safe sex." She pulled off her tank top.

"You're not having sex with him."

She looked over her shoulder, grimacing. "Can we go swimming?"

He glared at her. "Where's your phone?"

"In the car."

Before she could react he lift her up, placed her over his shoulder and ran toward the water. Elena screamed as she could hear his laughter echoing in her ears before they hit the water and disappeared under the surface. It was warmer than she'd expected. Once she got back up, she took a deep breath.

"I love that bra." He wiggled with his eyebrows. "I fits your breasts perfectly."

"Oh, shut up." She rolled her brown eyes.

They wrestled, Elena cried out with laughter, Damon grabbed her waist, throwing her up in the air. They laughed and enjoyed the weather. After they had wrestled with each other in the water for nearly an hour, she began to shiver and they decided it was time to go back home. When they reached the car, he grabbed her hips and pulled her backwards, his hard length pressing against her ass. One of his hands slipped into her bra and rubbed the nipple that instantly hardened under his touch. _He'd wanted to do that, the second she pulled of her tank top._ Her body always responded like that; explosively fast.

"Damon. What are you doing?"

"I'm touching you." His words were a mere whisper, but she still heard them.

"We are in the middle of nowhere."

"Exactly." He nibbled on her shoulder and kissed his way up to her neck.

"You want to have sex?" She gasped when his hand rubbed the inside of her thigh. "Outdoors?"

Damon pressed his stiff member against her buttocks. She knew that was his way of answering yes.

The thought of letting him conquer her here, out in the wild, was very tempting. That was something they'd never done before. She'd been riding him in the front seat and the backseat of his car, more than once. They had snuck off to take a quickie in many different places, but they'd never had sex outdoors.

"I want you." His hand caressed her between her legs, the fabric of her shorts being the only thing that separated his skin from hers. "Right here, right now." He breathed.

He rubbed himself against her and she could feel fire erupt inside her. "Okay." Was all she managed to whisper huskily.

She couldn't fight the heat between them and leaned forward, placing her hands on the hood of the car. Damon helped her to unbutton her wet shorts and pulled them down until they slid over her hips and finally fell down her tanned legs. Elena turned around to meet his eyes. They were dark with want and need.

He groaned as she caressed him outside his clothes. "Damn." He leaned against her, breathed at her neck, heating up her skin, slowly pulling his tongue up and down her throat.

Together they freed Elena from her remaining clothes.

* * *

"Oh." She panted and leaned back on her elbows, her head falling back as he tasted her.

"You're so ready for me." He mumbled between her legs. Damon moved his tongue back and forth, sucking her flesh, moving his fingers in and out of her in a very slow pace.

She felt free. The sun's rays landed on them. She could feel her release building with his every move. Damon kissed the inside of her thigh and nuzzled his face into her skin. He found the little bundle of nerves and stroked her intensely. Her body was burning with desire and she wouldn't be able to stop. It wouldn't matter if an entire school class with children stood staring at them in horror, she wouldn't be able to stop. Nothing else mattered except from Damon's mouth on her body.

Elena needed the release he always gave her. Her body demanded the beautiful orgasmic sensation that would wash over her within a few minutes.

"Damon." She put her hands in his dark hair, letting her fingers move over his head. "I'm falling to pieces."

"I know, baby." He licked around her clit, circling her entrance with his fingers before filling her and curling them; touching her soft spot. "Just let go."

She came in an explosion of pleasure, her body shaking, her breathing very strained. Damon stroked her until she opened her eyes and looked down at him. The sight of him smiling up from between her legs almost caused her to come a second time.

"You okay?" He grinned at her.

"I'm okay." Elena pulled him up and he lay down on top of her. When she reached for the button on his pants he grabbed her hands.

"Stop." He mumbled.

"What?" She met his eyes, frowning. He never turned down sex or any sexual activity at all.

"Later." He reassured and pecked her lips and climbed of her.

"What's wrong?" Elena sat up, reaching for her clothes.

"We are late."

_Oh shit! _They were supposed to join her parents for dinner.

"Come on." Damon pulled her up from the ground. "Get in the car."

* * *

"Damon." Miranda looked up from her book. "It's good to see you." She rose from the couch and gave him a big hug. "How come you get more handsome by each day?"

Elena smiled weakly and Damon nudged her side, rolling his eyes in amusement.

"You're not so bad either." He smirked at her. "You're my kind of MILF."

"Oh behave." Miranda chuckled and turned around to her daughter. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes." She nodded and grabbed Damon's arm. "If you're done with my mom, maybe we could go upstairs and change." Elena snickered.

"Fine." He rolled his eyes and left a kiss on Miranda's cheek. "My thingy is freezing."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Jeremy yelled from the kitchen. "I don't want to know about your... thingy."

"Little Gilbert's so prudish." Damon laughed as he headed for the stairs with Elena, waving at Miranda.

Once they entered her room, Damon grabbed her hips, bringing his body close to hers. He helped her discard her tank top, reaching behind her back. With practiced hands, he opened her bra. Taking in her beautiful breasts, caressing them with careful hands, moaning when her mouth found his.

Everything escalated quickly and they stumbled into the bathroom. Damon's hands moved into her hair, pulling lightly at it. When they broke apart, both panted heavily. His erection bumped into her body. Their clothes end up in different piles on the floor. They make out under the hot sprays of water. Caressing each other's body's.

Elena moved her hands up and down his length, stroking him faster and then returning to a slower pace. She goes fast, then slow, fast, slow and so on. After nearly seven minutes of teasing him, he almost beg her to finish him off.

"Elena." He grunts her name. "Have you ever heard of blue balls?"

" 'Blue balls' is just a slang term referring to testicular aching that may occur when the blood that fills the vessels in a male's genital area during sexual arousal and is not dissipated by orgasm." She met his eyes.

"Then you know exactly what I need right now." Damon said as he grabbed her hips, spinning her around.

"Yes," She breathed, placing her hands on the white colored tiles. He slowly pushed his hard length forward, burying himself inside her and grinned when he heard her gasp.

"We need to make this quick." He said and kissed her back. "I won't be able to last."

Elena arched her body backwards. Pleasure coursed through her body and Damon's hand found her sensitive bundle, pushing her to the edge.

* * *

"Since you're just standing there, make yourself useful." Elena pointed at her hairbrush and met his eyes in the mirror. He was still wrapped in his towel that hung dangerously low on his hips.

"Yes, ma'am." He smirked and without disobeying, he moved forward. He picked up the hairbrush - like so many times before - and started to comb her hair.

She looked at him with a faint smile on her face.

"Are you still going to prom?" He asked quietly. He didn't want to act possessive but something inside him convulsed at the thought of Elena with Kol. The guy wasn't her type; he was a total dick. Why didn't Elena see that? If she really wanted to go to prom, he could have taken her. However, she never mentioned anything about it.

"Yes." She swallowed and nodded.

"Why?" He asked and put down the hairbrush, he kneeled down in front of her.

"He asked me."

"So if I'd asked you–"

"You didn't." She rose from her seat and walked over to her dresser.

"He's not good enough for you."

"It's just one date." She said with a calm voice. "Let it go."

"Okay." He replied and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Damon?"

"Never mind."

* * *

They sat comfortably in the middle of the stairs. She was wrapped in his warm embrace, his safe arms holding her close.

After a marvelous dinner with her family and Damon, his parents and his younger brother Stefan, she was tired. Damon's mother had brought dessert and as usual it was to die for. She loved when her family and the Salvatore's joined each other for dinner. There was always laughter, funny games and even sometimes, karaoke. Her dad was the one who started the karaoke competition tonight.

"You should know, that I love you, Gray."

"Thank you, I feel the very same way." Her dad swung the front door open and slapped Giuseppe's back. "And thank you for singing. It went straight to my heart, Pepe."

"Your dad is loaded." Damon whispered in her ear, with a small grin on his face.

"So is yours."

Damon's mother - Sarah - grabbed her husband's arm and tugged at him. "Let's get you to the car." She turned around. "Damon, are you staying?"

"Yep." He nodded and could feel how Elena let out a shallow breath. Sarah blew him a kiss and hugged Miranda.

"I'll help Pepe out." Grayson laughed happily and Miranda shook her head and followed her husband outside.

"Lets get you to bed." Damon nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck.

"Wait. Hold me, it feels good." She whispered.

"Get up and I'll hold you once we are in your bed."

"That's a deal Mr. Salvatore." She yawned and got up.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and be kind enough to leave a review.  
**Take care until next chapter. /Milou


	2. Chapter 2

**AN; **_Thank you for the alerts and favorites on this story._  
_15 reviews for the first chapter, yay! *doing my happy dance.*_  
_So, thank you, thank you._

**Four years later**

.

.

Why? Well, because he was too stupid enough to stay at home. Did he want to go? No, not really. Damon squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. What was he doing here? Back in Mystic Falls? A place he'd promised himself to stay away from. The lively little town contained far too many memories of days when life had been different; a time when he'd been different. But be damned, he was rolling through town and it was to late for him to turn around and speed away; just like he had four years ago.

The choice to leave Mystic Falls behind him had been the beginning of his flourishing career as a photographer. He had arranged so he could stay with a guy he knew in L.A. Sarah hadn't been pleased with him. Giuseppe was more or less supportive of his son's decision. In the process of growing up and evolving into a man they could be proud of, he almost lost himself for a while. Drinking, partying, bedding a lot of different women and so on. He'd been on the brink of destruction. Driving himself right down the drain.

Somehow, he landed a very big contract and started working seven days a week, enjoying the details of his job. The photographic business included a very large competition between professionals and freelancers. He was just so proud that he had come so far on his own.

He wouldn't call himself rich or a millionaire but he had his fare share of money. After six months in L.A he'd moved to his own apartment and started a whole new life for himself. Stefan visited him a couple of times. He spoke very little of Elena and kept most of the details out. He mentioned Jeremy and Grayson sometimes, but they never spoke of her. He'd been glad that his brother knew better than to push it.

He also knew he'd screwed up his friendship with Elena. Badly. He just left and never turned back. He didn't call her, didn't write her, didn't visit. He didn't even answer her phone calls and the tons of text messages she'd sent him. Her messages and letters became fewer and fewer. Eventually, she stopped contacting him. She'd broken a little piece of his heart the day she chose another man instead of his friendly love. He thought the pain of losing her to another man would kill him, but it didn't, because he never really lost her. She'd never been his to lose.

One day he received an invitation. An invitation he had more than happily thrown aside and never looked or thought of again. He wasn't even planning on going.

_You are cordially invited to celebrate the wedding of  
Elena Miranda Elizabeth Gilbert  
and  
Kol Thomas Mikaelsen_

His mother had called him every day for two weeks. _'Sweetheart, Damon, please. You have to say yes to the invitation. You have to be present at the ceremony.' _He loved his mom - there was no question about it - but fuck no. He would not attend his former best friend's wedding. Not a chance. He would not sit and watch her while she made her vows audible in front of God, promising to love another man until she no longer existed.

Besides, he was not a big fan of the groom. He would gladly give him a black eye or two. That guy was the reason for his broken friendship in the first place. Elena had spent more time with Kol than with him. She'd pushed him aside and put their friendship on hold.

Damon had tried to talk some sense into her but she'd been so obviously blinded by all the flowers she'd received from her stalker. _Yes, stalker._ The guy used to pop up everywhere, he was glued to Elena and whenever Damon got close to her, Kol had put an arm around her shoulders. Their ice cream filled sleepovers had been cut short and he'd felt so far away from her. He'd blamed Kol for interfering with his life and stealing Elena.

He could not have asked her to go with him. Her whole life was here in MF. Family, school, friends, and the love she had found in Kol. He could not help but to wonder what their relationship might be like. Did Kol treat Elena right? Did he treat her with the amount of respect every woman deserves?

It had hurt like hell but leaving MF and Elena had been the right thing to do. He'd moved on and according to the wedding invitation; she'd moved on too.

* * *

In the beginning, she had missed Damon so much that she thought she would die. Her body had been physically hurt. She'd felt so lost without him. Breathe, eat, live, sleep - had been incredibly hard for her to do. One part of her had been so confused and filled with excruciating pain and another part of her had been angry and pissed off. Her heart had fallen to pieces, and she had been unsure whether she would ever be able to build her self up again. There had been days when life seemed to be pointless. Her body and soul had missed him so badly. She had cried herself to sleep more nights than she could count. She had called him, she had even been considering traveling to LA to see him. He never responded to her messages and she could hardly believe that it was possible, but it broke her even more.

He had been her strength, her best friend. One day he just decided to leave everything behind and left. It hurt that he left, but the thing that felt the worst was the fact that he never asked her to go with him. He had never even mentioned his thoughts of leaving. She'd felt sad, empty and alone, but most of all; she'd felt betrayed. They'd shared everything.

She'd never doubted her decision to say yes to Kol's proposal. She'd known him a long time and he'd really struggled in order for her to get to know him. She loved him. He wanted kids in the future and he wanted her to pursue her dreams. He supported her and they rarely argued with each other. He'd been the one to pick her up after Damon left. Kol had been and still was, what she needed. He was calm, polite, funny, lovable and above all, he was a really good man. Kol was the right one for her.

Elena paced back and forth in their bedroom. She had spent over two hours getting ready for the engagement party. Her navy blue dress ended just above her knees. The dress was simple but still very elegant. It emphasized her female forms and she promised herself to thank Caroline later; she was the one who found the dress in a little shop on the outskirts of the city.

Elena applied the last of her makeup before she put up her hair in a high ponytail. She eyed herself in the mirror and glanced down at the diamond ring on her left ring finger. She remembered the day when he fell to his knee and proposed to her in front of their friends and family's. She'd been so shocked, excited, nauseous and happy at the same time. She'd managed to stutter out an audible yes, he'd put the ring on her finger, picked her up and swirled her around while she'd laughed in contentment.

"How did your appointment at the doctor's office go?" A familiar voice asked from behind her.

"Good." She turned around meeting the brown eyes of her fiancé as he leaned against the doorframe. He was handsome in his white button up shirt. He radiated warmth as he stepped into the room.

"Anything out of the ordinary?" He asked.

"No." Elena said and put away her makeup bag.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't go with you." He looked apologetically at her. "I had to go through some papers before the guests arrived."

"It's okay. There's no need for you to worry. I've been stressed out about the wedding, that's all."

Stressed out was an understatement. She'd been so busy with planning the wedding that she'd almost forgot to eat lunch every single day and take care of herself. Caroline was her maid of honor and none would be able to do the job better than her. She knew all the details and whenever Elena needed some time of from all the wedding stuff, her best friend took the lead and made sure everything worked out.

"I just want you to take care of yourself." Kol walked up to her. "I don't want you to faint or get sick."

She faced him, slowly stroking his cheek. "I'm fine."

"Promise me." He mumbled and put his arms around her.

"I promise."

He leaned in to kiss her and she responded with a soft sigh as he moved his tongue inside her mouth. He continued to her neck, leaving a trail of feather light kisses on her skin.

"Tell me again why we decided to have such a big wedding?" She breathed with a smile on her face.

"Because I want you to have everything you've ever dreamed of." He breathed huskily against her lips. His hands pulled her closer and she could feel his desire press against her body.

"Kol?" She mumbled and pulled away to breathe. "Our guests are waiting for us."

"They can wait." He said and kissed her once again and Elena surrendered to his lips.

* * *

_Holy mother of…_ Damon thought his apartment was big but Elena topped the list; she was living in a fucking castle. He stopped beside his brother and eyed the enormous mansion. It wouldn't even surprise him if there were dungeons in the cellar and maids all over the place.

"Big, isn't it?" Stefan grinned at him. "You should see their indoor pool. And OMG, you have to check out Kol's billiard room."

"OMG?" Damon groaned. "You've been spending way too much time with Blondie."

"She's my girlfriend." Stefan shrugged. "Her positivity kind of rubs of on you."

"You're sure you're dick is still intact?"

The brothers entered the mansion together. They met up with their parents and chatted a bit before Miranda and Grayson arrived. They hugged him and Miranda had hugged him so hard that he almost lost the ability to breathe properly. They'd told him how much fun it was to see him, that they had missed him. He could not deny that he had missed them too. They had been a big part of his life, up until four years ago.

"Oh, Damon." Miranda smiled as she hugged him for the seventh time. "I'm so glad to see you."

"Likewise." He said and hugged her back.

"Elena will be so happy that you are here." Miranda continued. "She have missed you."

* * *

He didn't plan on staying at the party for more than ten minutes and when his time was up, he headed for his car. Meeting Grayson and Miranda had been a little bit too much for his taste. They'd been so happy to see him, they'd praised him for what he had accomplished in LA. They'd been as proud as his own parents. He wasn't ready to meet Elena. Maybe he could still avoid her. The driveway was full of cars and it took him a while to find his Range Rover.

There was none in sight. Perfect.

"Damon?"

A voice that his ears knew all to well, filled his stomach with nervous butterflies. Damon Salvatore didn't do butterflies. He slowly turned around, his icy blue eyes falling on a young woman that was no longer a girl. His heart took a leap when he took her in, gazing at her. Damn, she was more beautiful than he remembered. She was stunning and completely breathtaking. Her dress clung perfectly to her body, her make up was light, her hair was put up in a high ponytail and her eyes frantically searched his to confirm that he was really there and not just a hallucination.

They stared at each other. Blue eyes meeting brown ones.

She opened her mouth but made no sound, she just simply stared at him. Emotions that she'd pushed away a long time ago came rushing through her and hit her like a train wreck. She forced herself not to stumble as she took a step forward. He'd changed. His body did no longer belong to a teenage boy. His shoulders were broader and his muscle mass had increased. The contour of his jaw was more noticeable than it had been before. He was more of a man than he had been when he left four years ago. He'd grown up, just like she had too.

_Was it too late for her to run away? Hide from him and pretend she'd never seen him. _Obviously, yes, because he was staring at her with the same expression she had written all over her face. Utter shock.

Elena braced herself and swallowed hard before opening her mouth. Thankfully, this time, she was able to form one small word.

"Hi," She said quietly. _How could such a simple word become so hard to pronounce?_

"Hi," He breathed, his voice raspy.

"I didn't thought you'd show up." She almost whispered, feeling light headed.

_Neither did he. _If she only knew of how little he wanted to be there, she would probably be surprised by it. It wasn't like he could spit it out directly into her face. _Fuck no,_ _I don't want to be here!_ That would be too harsh.

"You know my mother - she forced me." Damon said with a hint of sarcasm and leaned back against the car, hoping it could support his wavering body and weak knees. His butterflies had turned to nausea.

"Oh." She moved her eyes to the ground, her face falling.

"You look good." He stated, knowing she would lift her head and look at him again. "You seem happy."

"I am." She smiled softly.

A strained silence filled the space between them. It was sad. Four years ago - silence had been a very natural thing between them. Today, it was weird and felt painfully exhausting. She could not remember any moment that had been weird between them. Now they were like two strangers meeting for the very first time.

"This isn't awkward." He said out loud and he could see a faint smile cross her face.

"Would you like a drink?" She offered and bit her bottom lip, secretly hoping that he would say yes.

"Actually, I was heading out." He answered before he even considered her offer.

"Already?" She questioned. Tears threatened to well up in her eyes. _No. _She wouldn't let herself cry in front of him, she was stronger than that. She wasn't the insecure nineteen year old he'd once known.

The chances of Elena being disappointed couldn't be that high. He thought he could see a tiny bit of disappointment in her brown eyes but she tried to hide it very well. All he knew was that he couldn't stay. He needed to get away from the mansion that would soon become her true home, he needed three drinks or thirty bottles of bourbon, vodka or champagne. Anything would do.

"Elena–"

"No, I'm sorry." She put her hands up in the air and waved them in a dismissing way. "That's none of my business."

She quickly turned around and headed for the mansion and he didn't try to stop her. She wasn't sure whether she wanted him to stop her either. Thankfully, she couldn't hear him behind her. He might look the same, but she could tell that he'd clearly changed a lot. She tried to draw some air into her lungs, she was almost panting, her heart rushing in her chest. Elena was about to round the corner of the garage when she bumped into her future husband.

"Here's my girl."

She quickly wiped away a descending tear. "Hi."

"Where have you been?" Kol stroked her cheek. "Are you okay?" He eyed her worriedly.

She nodded and took a deep breath. "I needed a minute to myself."

"I know what you mean. My parents are constantly chatting in my ears." Kol said. "You sure you're okay?"

She nodded her head again and walked into his embrace. She sighed, trying to get her heartbeat under control. His arms wrapped themselves around her, holding her close to his own body. She inhaled his scent, taking deep breaths. He planted a kiss on top of her head.

"Elena!" Damon rounded the corner and almost bumped into the hugging couple. _Perfect, could his day get any worse?_

Kol let go of his fiancée, his face unreadable as he offered Damon his hand. Elena glanced between the two men.

"I'm Damon," Damon said, never taking his eyes away from Kol.

"I remember." He said indifferent. "I didn't know you would show up, but you're mostly welcome."

Elena straightened her dress and cleared her throat. "Damon was just leaving."

"Really?" Kol raised his eyebrows. "Already?"

"I have some people I need to see while I'm in town, so.." Damon shrugged.

"Well, you're welcome to stay if you'd like." Kol said and turned to Elena. "I need to make sure the guests ha–"

"Go." She smiled softly at him. "I'll be right there."

He pecked her lips and left, nodding politely at Damon. However, Kol's goodie goodie crap didn't do it for him, but he forced a smile and let it fall from his face the minute Kol had disappeared. He waited a couple of seconds before he opened his mouth.

"I can't say that I approve of your choice of groom."

Elena crossed her arms over her chest. "It doesn't matter what you think."

"It used to mean something to you." He wanted to grit his teeth.

"That was a long time ago." She said with a very high pitched voice. Once again tears were threatening to fall. "Things have changed."

"Clearly." He snorted.

"Look." She stomped her foot. "You do not get to come here and act like this. Do you understand?" Elena looked at him sternly.

"Good thing I'm not staying then." He growled at her.

"I didn't invite you for you to come here and fight with me." She almost yelled.

"Please." He said with a sweet voice, exaggerating. "Why did you invite me?"

"Because we were friends and you meant a lot to me. If you're too stupid to understand that, you can just leave."

* * *

**Reviews are love, people!  
Thank you!**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN; **_Thanks for all the beautiful reviews, I love, love, love them!  
So, thank you for being so awesome! _xoxo Milou

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She'd cried herself to sleep last night; at her parents house, in her old, safe and well known room – in the room she'd been accepting Damon's first kiss.

If the light-colored walls of her room would be able to tell a story, it would be a story about two young adults that didn't know what they'd done the day they'd dropped their clothes to the floor. Just friends and no attachments – that'd been one of the ultimatums.

If Elena had known back then, that her heart, body and soul would rip itself apart in order to try to merge with Damon's once again – she never would have invited him to her wedding.

Seeing him had caused so many buried emotions to fall over the edge and she'd felt so small. She'd tried to hide her raging insides while being at the party – it must have worked because Kol didn't seem to notice her shaking form or the distant voice coming from her.

Elena pulled a hand through her hair.

She was beyond tired and her heart was still sore from their short meeting. _Damn you, Damon Salvatore._

Why did he have to awake so many buried things inside her.

Things that were screwing with her head and her emotions, memories that almost broke her heart.

Her mother's voice brought her back to reality and away from her thoughts.

"Why don't you spend some time with him?" Miranda suggested before placing the bowl of ice cream between them.

Ice cream was a common thing in the Gilbert's household. It was a must. All problems – big or small – could always be solved with ice cream. Grayson had been the one to explain it to them, many years ago. _'There's not a problem in the world, that ice cream can't fix. End of story.'_

"Mom." Elena shook her head and leaned over the counter, grabbing a spoon full of Ben n' Jerry's, bringing it to her mouth. "Don't."

"I'm just saying, spending some time with him might be good for you."

"I don't think so." _How could spending time with Damon be good for her?_

"Elena, you have to at least try to mend your relationship with him."

"How is it even possible to mend something that has been gone and broken for years?" She interrupted her mother with a stern look, explaining to her that she didn't wanted to talk about it. "Besides, do we have to talk about Damon?"

"Yes, we do." Miranda said with determination, ignoring her daughter's first statement.

Whenever her mother used that tone, Elena knew that she would have to listen to her no matter what.

Miranda's authority was almost scary sometimes; no wonder she was a good lawyer.

"Why?" She questioned. "It will only bring back painful memories."

Elena wouldn't be able to go back there without falling apart.

Their time together had been so precious and she'd felt so incredibly alive.

Even if she was happy at the moment, she still wasn't sparkling and glowing like she'd used to when Damon had been the centerpiece of her life.

Everyone knew that but nobody dared to talk about it, knowing very well what a touchy subject it was.

"Darling, memories are important – it doesn't matter if they are good or bad ones." Miranda smiled softly and knowingly.

"Mom, you're eating all the ice cream." Elena pointed out.

"Don't try to change the subject." Her mother scowled, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Miranda dropped her spoon and grabbed her daughter's hands. "You have to tell him about the pregnancy."

"Kol already knows and he's delighte–"

"I'm not talking about Kol. I'm talking about the tornado that whirled into town yesterday."

"I can't tell him." Elena met her mother's eyes. "I can't."

Miranda knew her daughter very well and recognized the look of pain on her face.

She'd been so worried about her the last couple of weeks.

All Miranda wanted was to see her daughter smile like she once had.

"You have to tell him."

"Mom." Elena pulled her hands through her hair, tears prickling her eyes. She was so emotional – her hormones driving her crazy all the time and talking about Damon caused her tears to fall even more easily.

"Sweetheart." Miranda rounded the kitchen island and hugged her daughter. "Damon will understand."

"I'm not so sure about that." She sobbed quietly. "You didn't see him yesterday when I talked to him. He resents me."

"Oh no, he doesn't. You mean so much to him, he would never be able to resent you."

"Mommy," Elena hugged her mother tightly, slowly relaxing into the warm and safe embrace. "I wish I could rewind time."

"Just make the best of what you have right now." Miranda replied as she softly stroked her daughter's hair.

* * *

Damon took a deep breath before unlocking the door to his hotel room.

His mother had wanted him to stay at their house, in his old room, which had - to his father's great horror - been turned into a yellow guest room.

Giuseppe had warned him to say yes, the color of the walls would bring his oldest son to insanity.

Damon had to agree; the color was horrendous.

He'd rushed from the engagement party after Elena's speech about their former friendship. He didn't know how to act around her and he didn't want to 'hang out' with Stefan and Kol.

He'd checked in at the hotel, he'd emptied the mini bar, thinking about the past and then he'd simply passed out. To his big surprise he'd woken up early and without a hangover.

He'd been out for a run in the woods, his anger fueling him to push himself to the outer limit. He wanted to erase her face from his thoughts but it seemed to be impossible. All he could see was those familiar doe eyes and the faint smile she'd given him before running away from him. He'd followed her – he shouldn't have; the sight of Elena in Kol's arms had made him slightly nauseous. Anger had started to bubble inside him when Elena barely looked at him while cozying up in Kol's arms.

Damon's mother had called him the minute he got inside his car and he'd hung up on her. He disliked the thought of having to endure a rant from his mother about that part, but he knew that it was coming – probably sooner than he wanted to.

"Damon." A knock and the irritated voice of his mother could be heard through the door. "Damon, open the door."

"I'm… naked!" He shouted, hoping she would leave him alone.

"Open the door." She knocked again. "Or I'll–"

"What?" He growled as he jerked the door open, facing a pair of ocean blue eyes that pierced his own gaze. "You'll kick in the door?"

His mother seemed to be beyond angry and the angry version of Sarah Salvatore was a version that no man wanted to face. It could be compared to the slaughtering of an animal.

She was fierce and the few times Damon had noticed his parents fighting over something – his mother was always the one winning with the last word.

"You hung up on me. Didn't I teach you anything?"

"I didn't feel like talking to anyone." He said – which was mainly true.

"You left." She continued to accuse as she waltzed into the room.

"What can I say," Damon shut the door behind her, sighing. "I didn't feel like hanging out with Drool either."

"Oh please," His mother huffed, crossing her arms. "You're twenty-four years old – act like it."

He shook his head. "Stefan will always be the good, cute and boring poster child for Prozac – I'm the rebellious one, you know that." He smirked at his mother. "I don't behave."

"Don't even try to be funny with me, young man." Sarah glared at her son. "She invited you to celebrate her wedding – would it actually hurt if you tried to act like a gentleman or perhaps at least a little bit civilized?"

"Mamá, things have changed." Damon looked at his mother. "She doesn't need me anymore. She's moved on."

He would never admit to his mother, how much it bothered him that Elena had moved on and created a bright future for herself without him.

"Stop with the pity party." She rolled her eyes, showing her annoyance.

"Fine." Damon grabbed his bag from the bed and shoved it over his shoulder. "I'm going back to LA, give Elena my condolences, hm?" He headed for the door.

"Don't you dare walk out of this room." She warned.

"Try and stop me." He smirked mischievously at her.

"Damon." She grit her teeth.

"Bye, mother."

"Damon Salvatore!" She almost roared at the top of her lungs. "You hurt her. What did you expect? What did you expect her to do? Sit around and wait for you to man up?"

"She hurt me too." He shot back at her as he threw away the bag, letting it tumble to the floor.

"I'm well aware of that, but you just left her and even though you're my son and I love you with all my heart – I still curse you for leaving her the way you did."

Sarah had tried to reason with him, tried to change his mind, but he'd left anyway. She'd had to let him go that day, four years ago. She'd watched him pack his things, leaving his childhood home and everything he'd grown up with, behind. Even if a part of her didn't want to let him go that day – partly because of Elena and partly because of her own feelings as a mother – but she'd had to.

It was time for him to change environment, explore the world and develop into someone she knew that he always could be. All and all, she was very proud of what he'd accomplished; still, it caused her heartache to know that Miranda and Grayson's daughter had gotten her heart broken, stomped on and shredded to pieces.

Elena was like a daughter to Sarah and she wanted the young woman to get everything she desired in life.

She couldn't dare to see any of her own or the Gilbert children in pain; whether it was massive or small.

"Alright mother, blame me all you want."

"I'm not blaming you." She said sternly, her dark hair falling in waves around her shoulders. "However, I never agreed with you. The way you handled your problems was beyond wrong."

"I know."

"But I knew that you had to leave in order to become the young man you are today."

"I know." Damon repeated.

Sarah stepped forward. "You can't leave without making things right."

"I don't even know how to make things right." He mumbled, still deep in thought.

She stroked her son's cheek. "Yes you do."

"How?"

* * *

He'd been curious about it and to his surprise, the place still looked the very same. The water was sparkling as the sun's rays danced over the surface. The trees surrounding the place blossomed beautifully in many different colors. It was still amazingly beautiful.

The last time he'd been there, they'd been fighting with each other. Elena had yelled at him, she'd cried, yelled some more and slapped him across his face.

He didn't even know the strenght she possessed. His cheek had continued to hurt a couple of hours later and he'd been so surprised by her burning anger.

That was the first time she'd ever hit him and she'd shocked him completely by doing so – and at the same time it was reassuring to know that she knew how to defend herself if it ever became necessary.

"Damon."

He felt his heart clench at her voice and turned around. "Hi."

She was dressed in a white tank top and jeans shorts, her hair hung loosely around her face.

She looked so natural in the light, she was glowing. The girls back in L.A didn't even look as good with make up on, as Elena did without it. He never got the chance to compliment her; she jumped straight to the point.

"Why'd you tell me to meet me here?"

"Why not?" He shrugged. "This is where all our problems started." _Low blow, Salvatore. Come on, pick up your game!_

"Our problems started when you left." Elena snorted in annoyance.

"Oh, so it's simply my fault now?" He glared at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She crossed her arms and glared back at him before turning around. She was about to storm away from the conversation; just like he'd left her yesterday.

"Elena." He groaned. _'I'm so sorry,' _he thought.

"What?" She questioned and threw her arms up in the air.

"I'm here to apologize, so please, don't piss me off."

That caused her to stop dead in her tracks, slowly turning her head to look at him. Brown eyes met blue orbs and pain found it's way into her chest. He seemed so sincere, it almost got her heart pounding furiously in her chest, with both want and need.

"I want to apologize for my behavior yesterday."

She watched him carefully without saying as much as a word. His face changed in front of her and she found herself biting her lip, wondering how long it had been since the last time she'd seen him so nervous, angry and vulnerable all at once.

"Sorry." He said quietly, carefully eyeing her.

She eyed him for what seemed to be hours, crossing her arms over her chest.

_'Please, say something,' _was all he managed to think – his brain working on overload.

"I'm sorry too." Elena said softly. "I was just so surprised to see you yesterday."

"You didn't expect me to be there."

"I couldn't even in my wildest dreams imagine you showing up."

"I'm going back to L.A so don't worry. I'm not staying for the wedding."

They stared at each other. Emotions running through them, causing them to ache inside out.

"I want you to stay." She blurted out before she had the possibility to stop herself. She could see his eyes wideining at her scentence. Throwing him of track, almost shocking him.

"Elena, I can't." He shook his head as he glanced at the lake, remembering all the laughter they'd shared and memories they'd created.

He couldn't stay. If he stayed, he would risk hurting her again and knowing that she'd been miserable without him was proof enough that he shouldn't mess with what they'd once had – because he'd been miserable without her too.

He turned around and headed for his car.

"Don't walk away." She pleaded behind him.

Damon could hear the strain in her voice and he knew that if he turned around, there would be tears in her eyes, feelings and emotions from a long time ago still cursing her heart and soul – he couldn't bear to look her in the eyes.

"Don't leave me again."

She felt like a child – like a child begging for candy or a new toy.

At the moment she didn't even care about how pathetic she sounded; she had to convince him to stay.

She wasn't ready to let him go just yet.

"What happened to us, Damon?" She questioned with a hard voice, glaring at his back, hoping it would burn holes in his shirt.

"You changed." He shrugged his shoulders without turning around to face her. "You met Kol and didn't have time for me anymore."

"That's not entirely true and you know it."

"It doesn't matter now. What we once had is gone, Elena."

"I never wanted you to leave." She said quietly.

"You could have asked me to stay." He retorted, turning around.

"I didn't even know that you were leaving!" She raised her voice at him, irritation and aggitation finding it's way into her voice. "If I'd known I would have stopped you. You knew that I couldn't live without you."

"Oh yeah? Looks like that diamond ring on your finger tells me otherwise!"

"I had to move on!" She yelled, tears burning her eyes. "But just because I moved on, it doesn't mean that I wasn't miserable without you!"

"Miserable? Kol didn't know how to satisfy you?" He spat out.

She gaped at him with an open mouth, shocked by his forwardness. He knew nothing about her sexlife. _Slap._

She blamed her brain for what she'd done next; she'd slapped him across his face.

The sound of her tiny palm colliding with his face echoed throughout the nature around them.

"You shouldn't have done that." He threathened, his eyes quickly changing from blue to black, anger radiating from him in waves.

"You shouldn't have left."

"Elena." He warned.

"How could you?"

He could hear the raw emotions in her voice and at the same time he noticed that she could barely get the words out.

"How could you?" She whispered as she walked closer to him.

He gritted his teeth and glanced at her. She moved slowly towards him.

"Why didn't you stay?" Elena whispered and stopped in front of him, her left hand falling on his biceps.

"I didn't love you enough."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN; **_26 reviews for chapter 3 – I am stunned!  
Thank you so much!_ _Do you guys think we can top 26 reviews for this chapter?_

_This is a short one but a filler! xoxo Milou_

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_I didn't love you enough. I didn't love you enough. I didn't love you enough._

That moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from hearing something that breaks your heart – is unbearable.

It hits you with a force that you didn't even know existed.

Pain course through you, causing your lungs to constrict and hurt badly.

It scars your heart and it feels horrible, as if death is slowly stumbling upon you.

It's like your whole body shuts down for a minute or two.

She'd wanted to yell, kick and scream but couldn't get a word out of her mouth. Elena knew that she was way too upset to drive safely but that didn't stop her from getting into her car and speeding away from a place she never wanted to think of again.

She'd wanted to reach out to him, she'd wanted to touch his face and make sure his skin was the same as it always had been – soft and lovable. She'd touched his arm. She'd touched him and she'd got burned. _Badly._

Four years ago she would have known how to respond to his harsh words, but now… She didn't even recognize the man he'd turned into. The Damon she'd known never would have said something like that.

This Damon seemed bitter, angry and frustrated. This was a Damon she didn't know.

_I didn't love you enough._

Damon's words kept repeating themselves in her mind as she parked her car outside the Mikaelson's Mansion.

She tried to shut out the thoughts plaguing her mind.

She glanced at the enormous house, angst filling her as Kol walked outside, a smile plastered on his face.

He made her happy. He really did, he was everything any woman would want in a man.

He would be the perfect husband and their whole life together was already planned out. He was safe and loving. She'd fallen in love with him and he'd been there when Damon left. He'd been the one to put a smile on her face again – maybe that was a part of what had caused her to fall for him.

She straightened her hair and got out of the car as he made his way over to her.

She waited by her car, the sun warming her skin, making it glow.

"How is my fiancée?" He pecked her lips. "Everything okay?"

"Yes." She sighed. "I'm fine. It's just that the hormones are making me–"

"They're making you tired, aren't they?" He stroked her cheek. "I've heard that's normal."

"It's normal." She nodded reassuringly and leaned into his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder.

The pregnancy had been a complete surprise. They'd never planned it.

She'd been shocked when she found out, worried, frightened and scared – but had undoubtedly been happy about it.

"Are you staying here tonight?" He asked as he stroked her hair.

She wanted to say yes and make him happy but she was too much of an emotional wreck in order to stay with him. She needed the comfort of her parent's warm and welcoming house. She needed, she needed to be alone. She needed some time for herself in order to sort through her messed up brain.

"I'm spending tonight with my mom, so," She shrugged. "I'm staying at their place. I hope that's okay?"

"Yeah, of course." Kol nodded acceptingly. "Whatever you need."

"Thank you." She mumbled. "What did I do to ever deserve you?"

He pulled back when he heard her words. Kol searched her eyes worriedly, cradling her face in his hands as he softly stroked away a couple of her tears.

"Elena." He kissed her temple. "Go spend time with your family. As much I want to spend every moment with you, I do know that you need them too. Four more weeks and then we'll be married and we'll have three weeks of paradise to look forward to."

"I'm so emotional." She hugged him a little tighter. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, baby."

"I'll talk to you later?" She withdrew from his embrace.

"Sure. I have some work to do."

"I know."

Elena found herself smiling before both of them chuckled lightly.

Kol always had work to do; that was nothing new.

* * *

_"Are you crazy?" She stifled a giggle as he climbed up to her window. "Damon, please be careful."_

_"Help me."_

_He reached out his hand for her to grab. Using all of her strength, she pulled him through her window. They tumbled to the floor, her body locked beneath his. She grunted at the pain of her back hitting the floor, momentarily glaring at him. _

_He smirked at her, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck, blowing hot air on her skin._

_"Stop it." She tried to keep quiet, knowing her parents went to bed early. If her parents found Damon in her room – in her bed – they wouldn't be happy. "It tickles."_

_She squirmed underneath him, trying to wrestle with him but it was to no avail – he had the upper hand whether she liked it or not. She continued to giggle quietly as he moved his hands across her body, tickling her everywhere._

_Once he stopped he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck again. It felt good; as if his body was created to fit hers perfectly. Elena put her arms around him, playing with the hair in his neck, stroking his back and shoulders. She could easily feel the muscles flex under her hands. He'd gained a lot more muscles lately. He laid above her as she cradled his body to her own._

_Neither of them realized that they were slowly grinding against each other until Damon felt the strain in his jeans. He instantly stopped above her, a tiny part of embarrassment spreading through him._

_"Is that–" She breathed._

_"You know what it is, Elena." He mumbled._

_"But.. but why?" Was all she managed to ask, still surprised about his desire pressing against her center._

_"You're grinding against me." He said, breathing against her soft skin, unable to say anything else._

_"Damon." She whispered._

_He steadied himself on his elbows, looking down at her beautiful face, getting ready to climb off of her before his body responded even worse. The atmosphere changed as they locked eyes. She was drowning in his ocean, realizing she didn't want him to move away from her. She needed more._

_"Don't move."_

_"Elena." He forced himself not to grit his teeth, his voice hoarse._

_"Kiss me."_

_He seemed taken aback, searching her eyes._

_"It's just a kiss." She said quietly. "It doesn't mean anything."_

_"It doesn't mean anything." He repeated, telling himself that a kiss was just a kiss. _

* * *

Once she'd showed up at her parent's house, she'd taken a long, necessary and hot shower. Elena and Miranda had ordered Chinese food and spent the rest of their evening on the couch, watching True Lies with Jamie Lee Curtis. She'd been able to shut out the world for a couple of minutes She'd sent a text to Kol, trying to push away all thoughts of Damon. He invaded her mind, screwed with her head.

After brushing her teeth, she went to bed in her old room, her teddy waiting on top of the covers. After letting exhaustion take its toll on her, she fell asleep quickly.

A couple of hours later, she woke up by the sound of something hitting her window. It crossed her mind that it might have been a bird or something else flying by. However, the sound didn't die – either way someone was clearly messing with her or perhaps she was just imagining things – she tried to ignore it and had almost fallen asleep when someone shouted her name, an echo spreading through her ears.

"Eleeennnnaaaa!"

Recognizing the voice immediately, she bolted out of her bed, stumbled forward and reached the window in no time. She pushed it open and saw a dark silhouette waving at her – a silhouette she'd be able to recognize anywhere. _Oh no. No, please, no._

He was dressed in his dark jeans, a black shirt and the leather jacket he'd owned since forever. His hair was impeccably messy.

"Elena, it's me." He yelled, slurring the words, waving his arms. "I've been throwing pebbles at your window for almost an hour."

"Damon, sush, you're going to wake up the whole neighborhood."

"Okay," He whispered dramatically, bending his knees. "I'll be a good boy. Just... let me in."

"Damon, go home." She said with determination.

Letting him inside was the last thing she wanted to do right now. He would – without a doubt – wake up everyone in the house, causing more trouble than necessary and create unanswered questions she didn't know how to handle.

"That would result in my mother killing me for being such an ass." Damon said with honesty, placing a hand above his heart. "We both know how she is."

She could faintly see him roll his eyes at his own words and she glanced at the nightstand. Her phone was within reach – calling Stefan might be a good option?

"Elena, I have to talk you."

"Go home, we'll talk tomorrow." _Just, please, go home. I'm not ready to talk to you yet. Go._

"I have to talk to you now."

"Damon." She said sternly. "Go home."

"No. Lena, come down." He begged, his voice hoarse. "Please. Come down."

Hearing him use her old nickname felt like being stabbed. Her heart ached and she put a hand above her chest, desperately trying to shield her heart from more pain.

"No. I can't." She was about to shut the window when he yelled again.

"Fine! Then I'll come to you."

Elena heard him groan and only seconds later, saw how he clung to the drainpipe, starting to climb.

The last time he'd climbed through her window, they'd been friends, he'd been sober and she'd pulled him towards her once he'd gotten halfway up. He'd tumbled inside, falling, trapping her between his body and the floor. They'd heard Grayson grumble in his sleep, fighting to hold back their laughter. They'd undressed and climbed down under the covers, falling asleep in each others arms.

It was a miracle that he'd been able to climb up and down the drainpipe so many times without hurting himself.

"Damon, stop." She hissed quickly. "You'll fall down."

"Then come outside and talk to me." He retorted.

"Climb back down and I'll be right there."

She closed her window and pulled a hand through her hair while reaching for her grey college sweater. She quietly opened her door and slid down the stairs, putting on her black Converse before sneaking out the front door, still dressed in her tiny shorts she usually slept in.

Damon was sitting on the bench that was placed in the front yard and looked up at her when she walked down the porch.

"What are you doing here?" She crossed her arms, hugging herself – it was chilly outside. She tilted her head. "How much have you been drinking?"

He used his thumb and index finger to measure the amount of alcohol he'd consumed. "Just a little."

"You should go home. You didn't drive your car here did you?" She threw a look over her shoulder.

"Nope." He answered, popping the 'p.' "I've been a good boy. I walked."

"I'll go call you a cab, I'll be right back."

As she headed for the door she could hear him follow her up onto the porch. _Don't. Please don't. _She wasn't ready for another heartbreaking confrontation.

"Elena, wait."

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob, her heart already beating furiously in her chest. He shook her head as she turned to face him.

"I said something stupid." He mumbled.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to focus on her breathing. "We all say stupid things sometimes."

"I didn't really mean it." He pulled a hand through his hair, ruffling it. He took a couple of steps towards her, invading her personal space.

"Stop." She pleaded. He was way too close for her liking. She wouldn't be able to handle it without falling apart – falling apart in front of him wasn't an option.

"Elena, you have to forgive me." He backed her up against the house, her back touching the wall as he locked her between his arms and his body.

"Damon, stop it. You're drunk." She could smell the bourbon and the familiar smell of his cologne.

"No, Elena. Listen to me." He cradled her face in his hands, his breath tickling her lips. His palms felt warm against her skin as he locked his eyes with hers.

"You need to go."

"I still love you." He blurted out. "I've always loved you. It just wasn't enough. I wasn't enough for you."

His words hit her like a slap in the face. It made her angry, afraid and scared. How did he dare telling her he still loves her? It was almost worse hearing his 'I love you,' than his 'I didn't love you enough.' She couldn't take it. She needed time.

"I'm done listening to you." She pushed at his chest.

"Elena."

"Call me when you're back to being sober."

When she tried to sneak out of his arms, he moved even closer to her, grounding his hips into hers, awaking a fire inside her.

"Damon, no, don–"

Before she had a chance to stop him, he crashed his lips against hers, silencing her, stopping her from running away. Locking his arms around her frame.

She fought to escape but found herself forming her body after his. Her soul knew what it had missed out on, during their four years apart. Her body knew that its lost piece was closer than it had been in a really long time and responded immediately with hot and heavy feelings.

Her arms involuntarily found their way around his neck and shoulders as his own hands caressed the waist of her perfectly sculptured body. Everything about her felt so familiar. His hands reveled in happiness the moment his skin got into contact with hers. His body recognized the hot heat radiating from the body before him and his soul desperately started to beg for a collision with its other half.

Desperate for more friction, she let him grab her thigh, lifting it, pushing his hips forward, letting the painful bulge inside his jeans ache even more as he rubbed it against her center.

The front door creaked as he pushed her harder against it.

The sound of the door creaking brought her back to reality. Her willpower returned quickly and she pulled away, putting her hands over her mouth, staring at him with a pale, shocked and confused expression on her face.

"Elena." He tried, but she raised her hand to silence him.

The pain that crossed his face was unlike anything else she'd seen before. Regret, sorrow, grief, unbearable pain, heartache, pride and prejudices could be seen in his ocean blue eyes.

"You can stay on the couch tonight." She cursed herself right away and didn't even dare to look at him again as she opened the door to let him in.

"I'm sorry."

"I know." She mumbled quietly before closing the door.

She didn't know what tomorrow would bring, however, there was one thing she knew for sure – the people in the Gilbert house would wonder what Damon Salvatore did on their couch. She would have to face a couple of demons and she felt beyond worried about the outcome.

* * *

Grayson yawned as he walked down the stairs, heading for the kitchen. As he walked through the living room he noticed a pair of shoes and a leather jacket placed beside the sofa.

"Jeremy." He muttered, shrugging his shoulders and continued to the kitchen.

He blamed his brain for not being awake just yet and stepped out into the living room once again, peeking over the sofa. Sprawled out on top of it was Damon Salvatore – a very unusual sight that he wasn't expecting.

He gawked, frowning as he scratched the back of his head. "Oh, boy. Shit is about to go down."

.

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	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you so much for all the reviews I got for chapter 4!_  
_You guys are amazing!_

_._

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_._

"Dad."

"I'm not even going to ask." He quickly raised his hands, defending himself.

"I can explain."

"Okay." Grayson chuckled. "I'd love to hear how Damon magically appeared in my living room; asleep and hungover I might add."

"He showed up drunk last night." Elena whispered, throwing a glance at the sofa, making sure that Damon was still asleep.

"Oh."

"What was I supposed to do?"

"Did he stand outside your window, singing to you?" Grayson snickered as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Or did he climb through your window, just like old times?"

"How'd you know?" She blushed.

"Oh, please." Grayson huffed. "I'm not stupid. You're lucky your mother never found out about it."

"Dad." She scolded. "It's not funny."

"I didn't say it was."

"What should I do?"

"Get him off of my couch before he wakes up and realize he's hung over and throws up on your mother's rug."

Elena pulled her hands through her hair, taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm down her nerves. The memory of his lips pressed against hers was still fresh and unfortunately on repeat in her head – and on top of it all, her brain was also forcing her to fight against her body's own will to throw up due to her morning sickness.

She put a hand over her mouth, grabbing the counter.

"Elena, are you okay?" Grayson laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." She gulped, forcing herself to keep breathing.

"Feeling nauseous?"

"Yes."

"I'll get you some water."

"No." Elena shook her head. "Orange juice."

Grayson hurried to the fridge, pouring his daughter a glass of orange juice and handed it to her. He watched as she drank, emptying the glass.

"Better?"

"Yes." She nodded. "Thank you."

"Now," He put both of his hands on her shoulders. "Take care of the young man sleeping on my couch and I'll stall your mother for a couple of minutes."

They went their separate ways and Elena felt nervous as she sat down on the table in front of the sofa.

_She'd watched the same movie, twice, when she checked her watch once again. It was official; she would kill him. She barely had the chance to process the thought before the front door creaked open and a dark silhouette sneaked inside, closing the door with more force than necessary. _

_"Where the hell have you been?" She hissed quietly._

_He turned around, seemingly baffled by her sudden presence. He tried to straighten up, putting on a sober face, almost stumbling over his own feet in the process._

_"It is the…itsyiie bitsy spider..." He mumbled and spun around, waving his arms, trying to find his balance once again. "Climbing up…"_

_"Oh, my God." She threw away the quilt and rose from the couch, quickly realizing what state he was in. "Are you drunk?"_

_"Maybe." He winked at her, grabbing her hips, leaning forward, nuzzling her neck. "You smell… so good."_

_A bolt of electricity went through her. "Damon. Stop it." She breathed as she felt his lips move against her skin. "Stop."_

_He backed away from her, shrugging his shoulders, spinning around in a circle. Out of nowhere, he let out a high shriek – a shriek that echoed throughout the whole house. _

_"WENT UP THE WATERSLIDE!" _

_"Damon!" She hushed him, hitting his arm. "My parents are asleep."_

_"Oh, right." He chuckled. "We have to be quiet."_

_"Yes, quiet." She scolded, glaring at him. "Come on, let's get you upstairs."_

_Elena walked over to him as he stood wavering from side to side. She put an arm around him dragging him towards the stairs._

_"You smell so good." He slurred, repeating his earlier words, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "Intoxicating."_

_"I'm surprised that you even know that word."_

_"Lena, you are underestimating me."_

_"On the contrary, I think I'm actually overestimating you. Where have you been all night?"_

_"Some of the guys wanted to party and Damon Salvatore never say no." He explained. _

_She huffed as she tried to pull him up on the first steps of the stairs. "Why didn't you call me?"_

_Yes. She'd been worried. Giuseppe, Sarah and Stefan had decided to visit old friends to the family over the weekend and Damon had simply refused to tag along and was more than welcome to stay with his best friend. She'd known he'd been out with his friends, however, she didn't expect him to stumble through the door – drunk._

_"Battery died. It went puff."_

_"Puff?" She glared at him._

_"Mhm." He smirked as he pulled out his iPhone from his jacket, showing her the truth behind his words._

_"Fine. Now move."_

_"Nope." _

_"Damon, move your feet."_

_"Uh uh." He shook his head. "You'll have to carry me." He leaned towards her, pressing her back against the wall. His lips close to grazing hers._

_"Unless you want me to drop you to the floor I suggest that you move your feet. Now." She almost growled._

_"Ouch, I like it when you're bossy."_

_Suddenly someone turned on the light and both of them stopped. Shit! The voice of her father boomed down the stairs._

_"What do we have here?" Grayson scratched his head, looking at the teens._

_"Oops," Damon chuckled. "Busted."_

_Elena nudged him with her elbow. "Stop it."_

_"Which one of you is drunk?"_

_"It's not me." Damon sing-songed while giving her father a flirtatious look, revealing himself as guilty – immediately._

_Grayson rolled his eyes as he made his way down the stairs._

_"Sorry, Daddy." Elena apologized. "We didn't mean to wake you up."_

_"It's okay. I was awake."_

_"Nice pajamas, Grayson." Damon commented, eyeing the older man. "It suits you. Brings out the color in your eyes."_

_"Let's get you to bed before you start hitting on me."_

_"Yeah," Damon whispered. "Otherwise Miranda might get jealous."_

_ "Good Lord, what have you been drinking?" Grayson waved his hand in front of Damon's face. "Bourbon?"_

_"Neat." Damon grinned as Grayson put a strong and supportive arm around his shoulders and steered him up the stairs._

_As soon as they got inside her room, she said good night to her father, knowing she would be able to handle the young man sitting on the edge of her bed, on her own._

_"Shoes off." She mumbled to him as she headed for the bathroom, that adjoined her room with Jer's._

_She'd changed into her tank top and pajama shorts when Damon walked into the bathroom, joining her in front of the mirror, grabbing the toothbrush he always used when sleeping over. They brushed their teeth in silence, glancing at one another from time to time. Not a word was spoken._

_When they reentered her room together, Damon shrugged out of his clothes, leaving his black boxers on, slipping underneath the covers. Elena turned to her side and she could hear him sigh as he noticed she'd turned around, not wanting to face him._

_"Elena." He said quietly, moving to lay on his side, nuzzling closer to her warm body._

_"Damon, don't."_

_"Don't be mad." He mumbled behind her. "I hate it when you're mad."_

_"I'm not." She sighed, pulling a hand through her hair, rolling onto her back. "I was worried."_

_He eyed her, locking their eyes in the familiar, yet curious way they always did._

_"I'm sorry." He breathed, scooting closer to her as she let his arms embrace her petite form as he spooned her. "I'm here now."_

_She sighed in contentment, feeling her body relax by his presence, her heart heating up, a small smile spreading across her face. Damon nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, placing a kiss on her skin. His lips causing her skin to immediately get covered with goose bumps, a shiver going through her, fire slowly starting to spark inside her. A fire she didn't know how to ignore._

_"Why are you shaking?" He whispered in her ear, the warmth of his breath a constant reminder that he was beyond close, to her body._

_"You're close." Elena mumbled, telling him the truth. "That's why."_

_"You're my best friend. Don't ever leave me."_

_She frowned at his words, slowly turning to face him, still wrapped up in his arms. "Why would you say that?"_

_"Promise me," He mumbled. "That we'll always be like this."_

_"Like what?" Elena eyed him, watching his eyes flutter open._

_"Together."_

_"Always." She swallowed, gulping. "Always."_

_"Lena." Damon breathed before closing his eyes, leaning in to kiss her._

_She met his lips, slowly giving him access to her mouth, their tongues mingling with each other. Even though he'd brushed his teeth, she could still taste a bit of the bourbon he'd consumed earlier._

_Elena moaned when Damon easily rolled on top of her, placing himself between her legs, kissing her, grinding his hips into hers, his erection hard inside his boxers as he rubbed it against her center._

_"We can't. Not now." She mumbled and panted when he kissed her collarbone._

_He stopped above her, meeting her eyes, melting._

_"You can't be quiet?" He smirked._

_"You know I can't." She answered, raising her hips, smiling softly when he groaned in response. "You always make me scream your name."_

_"You're right." Damon nodded, frowning while rolling off of her. "We wouldn't want the neighbors to hear you. Besides, little D might need a night off once in a while."_

_"Damon?" She stroked his face._

_"What?" He motioned for her to crawl closer and sighed when she placed her head above his heart._

_"I love you."_

She eyed him.

He was sprawled out on his stomach, one of his arms hanging down, almost touching the floor.

His hair was as messy as always, his face relaxed.

"Damon. Damon." She touched his arm.

His eyes flickered open, revealing blue orbs. "Lena." He groaned.

"Hi." She spoke softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore."

"You've been sleeping on the couch."

He sat up slowly, rubbing his neck, stretching his body. She could see how his shirt left a piece of skin naked, revealing his lower abs.

"I showed up drunk, didn't I?" He ruffled his hair.

She nodded. "How much do you remember?"

"Not much." He said with honesty. "All I remember is, me trying to climb through your window?" He raised an eyebrow at her, wondering if he'd been imagining the incident.

"You tried to climb up the drainpipe." She said quietly. "I went outside to talk to you." Elena bit her lip before she continued. "You were drunk and I let you sleep it off on the couch."

_He'd forgotten about his confession and their heated kiss?_

"Thank you." He looked at her. "I hope I wasn't acting like a complete ass."

"Pfft," She huffed and spoke before thinking clear. "Ass is your middle name."

"True." Damon felt himself smile unwillingly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"I know that our past was very rocky and," he paused, reading her expression. "And that seeing each other again, is hard." Damon searched her eyes. "But I'm willing to at least try to start over and be friends."

"Damon."

"You know, burry the hatchet and all that."

"If you want us to, that is."

She stared at him, dumbstruck. Was he willing to put everything behind them and try to act civilized? What the hell had made him change his mind?

"Trust takes years to build," She said slowly, looking down at her hands. "Seconds to break and forever to repair."

"Elena." He searched her eyes, grabbing her fidgeting hands. "I'm willing to try, if you are. I'm not saying it'll be easy, cause I'm a dick."

"Yes, you are." She couldn't help but to chuckle. "The last time you showed up drunk at my parents house, things almost turned into a complete disaster."

"Good thing your father's so forgiving." Damon smirked, stroking the upper part of her hand before she decided to pull away.

The warmhearted action was too much for her to handle.

Elena rose from the table, almost stumbling over her own feet as Damon quickly got up, grabbing her arm, saving her from falling. His touch sent a light bulb of electricity throughout her arm, causing her to quickly pull away from his grip.

"Sorry." He mumbled. "Old habit."

They simply stared at one another, remembering old memories, from a time when life had been so much easier.

"I don't know how we could ever be friends again." Elena blinked without looking at him. "It's too difficult."

She meant every word she managed to pronounce. She was afraid. Afraid of the pain he'd caused her, afraid of the pain he would bring if she let him back in again.

"Since when did that stop you?" He joked, but lost his smirk when she didn't respond. "Elena."

"I'm glad that you want us to be friends, but last night showed me that we are more than that and I can't get myself into our tangled past." She said, with closed eyes. "I'm happy. Kol makes me happy."

"Fine." He said sternly, his voice a lot colder than before. "I should go."

"Oh, don't do that." Elena waved her hand dismissively.

"Don't do what?" He questioned.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" She raised her voice, staring at him, a furious look covering her face. "As soon as it doesn't go your way or the way you want; you lash out!"

She could see his jaw tighten, irritation spreading through him.

"You're one to talk."

"Excuse me?" She widened her eyes, clearly offended.

"You heard me. You've lost your mind." Damon growled as he stepped closer, their body's almost touching, their lips inches apart. "You've turned into a self-centered bitch."

Elena opened her mouth, her jaw falling to the floor. At first she could feel how her eyes watered by his insult. Only seconds later, her broken heart caused her feelings to turn into one single emotion. _Anger._

Without thinking twice about it, she launched herself at him, hammering her tiny fists against his masculine chest, yelling at him, hitting every inch of his 'Adonis-like-body.'

The fact that he didn't move an inch pissed her off even more. He stood frozen, while she put all of her anger into a physical act towards his body, she basically threw every single insult known to mankind at him.

"I hate you!" She yelled. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

The exact moment she'd uttered those words, her parents burst into the living room.

"Elena, sweetheart, calm down." Miranda tried, her own heart breaking as her daughter's words spread across the room.

"Let them handle it on their own." Grayson put an arm around his wife's shoulders. "Damon can handle it."

"It's okay," Damon responded to the concerned parents. "I've got her."

Grayson and Miranda slowly withdrew from the area, knowing and accepting that the young adults needed space in order for their fight to subside.

By now, Elena's fists had been caught in Damon's hands, his arms encircling her, holding her in place while she did her best to fight him. Minutes went by before she gave up and they sunk to the floor. He was still cradling her in his arms as her tears started to fall.

And as soon as he realized that she was broken because of the hurtful thing he'd done when he'd left four years ago, he hugged her even closer.

"I hate you." She mumbled into his chest, fisting his shirt. "I hate you."

Damon closed his eyes, stroking her hair, kissing the top of her head.

"I know." His voice wavered. "I'm so sorry, Lena."

"Don't call me that," She cried. "Please just don't."

"Let me fix this." He pulled away and cradled her face in his hands. "Let me fix us."

She looked at him, locking her brown doe eyes with his crystal blue orbs, recognizing a piece of the man she used to know.

"How?" Elena whimpered, putting a hand above her heart. "How can you fix this?"

Damon ached, completely at a loss for words. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to do, but he felt frozen. His body physically hurt, he swallowed, closing his eyes again, pulling her towards his body and let her cry into his neck. Damon rocked her back and forth in his arms.

"You see her when you close your eyes." He mumbled, before he started to sing quietly. "Maybe one day, you'll understand why – everything you touch surely dies." He sung to her, his voice hoarse. "Only miss the sun when it starts to snow..."

Slowly, Elena pulled back, looking up into his eyes, finding him on the verge of tears. She knew how the song ended and sung the last sentence to him.

"Only know you love her when you let her go."

"I'll do whatever it is you need me to do, Elena."

* * *

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	6. Chapter 6

"A bachelor party?" A shiver went through him as he sent her a worried look across the table.

They were suited inside his favorite café, a plate of brownies with crème cheese placed between them. The smell of newly made coffee spread through the place he'd come to love as a teenager. The interior had changed since the last time he was there. However, it didn't matter; Elena was the one thing he focused his attention on.

After the incident at her parent's house – with her falling apart in his arms – they'd spent a lot of time together. _Awkward._ He was officially in the wedding – _even more awkward_ – and shared the maid of honor job with Caroline – who, to his big relief was so worked up about her friend getting married that she barely paid any attention to him.

He was still staying at the hotel, refusing to stay with his parents. Even though, he was on speaking terms with Elena, he wasn't ready to gossip about their relationship with his mother who got nosier and nosier by each day going by. Sarah and Miranda had been utterly delighted when they found out that their kids buried the hatchet in order to work on their friendship.

The fact that his mother was so crazily invested in his love life – or lack thereof – was pretty disturbing at times. She'd introduced him to April Young and the the priest's daughter had been so shy that she didn't even had the courage to open her mouth. Yes, he had to admit that she was quite cute but except from her looks; she wasn't his type.

Elena brought him back from his chain of thoughts.

"Don't look so frightened." She smiled at him, sipping on her glass of milk. Brownies had to be devoured with a cold glass of milk in order for the taste to live up to it's full name.

"Are you serious?" He was still eying her suspiciously.

"Yes."

"I'm not so sure that your future husband wants me there. I mean, isn't it weird if I crash his bachelor party?"

"Actually", Elena shrugged. "It was his idea. Besides, Stefan is going."

"So?"

"It might be fun."

Damon leaned back, crossing his arms, staring at her, raising his eyebrows as if questioning whether she's joking or not.

"Look, Elena, I don't think it's a good idea."

"He promised to behave, okay? I know that there's a little bit of tension between the two of you, but he knows that we are friends and he knows about our past; he's okay with it."

"How much does he know?"

"Almost everything." Elena met his eyes. Her brown color always seemed so warm and welcoming. "Except from the naked parts."

Well fuck, Damon thought. The last thing he wanted was for Kol to know about him and Elena. Yes, they'd been intimate and yes, it was four years ago since the last time he'd worshipped her body but that didn't mean that he was okay with Elena talking to Kol about it. The two of them hadn't even addressed the sex-subject yet. It felt too intimate; it was their history and he didn't want to share it with anybody else.

His past with Elena was such a delicate thing to even bring up. It was an important piece of him that no one else needed to know about; let alone Kol.

"Will there be free booze?" He tried to lighten the mood.

"Damon."

"Strippers?"

"Damon." She scolded. "I hope not."

"How are things between the two of you?" He asked.

"I didn't think you actually cared about that."

"You know I care."

Yes, she knew he cared about her – _her _not Kol. Elena knew that the two men had never liked each other but Kol had promised her to behave and try to accept Damon – after all, the blue eyed man had played a big part in her life. Even though she wasn't completely ready to let him all the way back into her life, she still wanted to see him and try to rebuild a part of what they used to be. _Friends._

"Things are great."

Okay, things weren't exactly perfect but at least they were acceptable. Kol didn't have much time left for her during the weekends; his job took up a lot of hours and when he got home, Elena was already asleep in their bedroom. Her hormones made her tired and caused her to close her eyes earlier than she was used to. Her belly was also starting to protrude and she felt a lot more swollen. Some days she skipped her shorts and wore a dress; it was much nicer due to the soft fabric and it fitted her new curves a lot better.

Her breasts had become more plum and filled out her bras in a different way. Not in a bad way, just different. She knew she would have to tell Damon soon; she didn't want to push him away, not now when they'd started to reconnect with each other.

The thought of telling him about her pregnancy was unsettling. Whenever she thought about it a nauseating feeling rushed through her and she would quickly back out before it was too late. He had the right to know that she was carrying Kol's son or daughter but she was afraid of his reaction. Would he leave her once again? Would he put a wall and distance between them, instead of discussing it like a grown up?

"Where's your head at?"

"Sorry." Elena apologized. "I zoned out."

He nodded understandingly. He'd zoned out too during the last couple of days – which wasn't weird due to their growing friendship and the questions that followed.

She caught him eyeing her and raised her eyebrow.

"Fine, I'll go to the bachelor party."

"Thank you."

* * *

_A couple of hours later_

"Put your seatbelt on." She murmured and leaned back in her seat.

"Hold on." Kol glanced at her before he returned his gaze to the road ahead of them. "Yes. Of course. I'll call them as soon as I reach the office. I'm picking up my fianceé."

He was on the phone while driving, even though he knew how much Elena hated it. She always preached about using the seatbelt and that it was placed in vehicles for a reason. _A safety reason. _

"Kol." Elena scolded. "Please."

"Just give me a minute, baby." He raised an eyebrow at her, sending her a flying kiss, smiling lightly.

"Kol, please. Seatbelt. Now."

"Hey, Greg, I've got to go. Call the office and tell Andy that the documents are in the yellow file."

Elena glanced at him as he put on his seatbelt.

"Happy?" He asked, grabbing her hand, kissing it.

"Yes."

She leaned back in her seat, took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Elena felt a dull ache in the lower part of her stomach. It disappeared as quickly as it came and she shifted uncomfortably.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Elena."

"What?"

"How's Damon?"

"Good." She opened her eyes, turning her head in order to look at him.

"Did you tell him about the bachelor?" Kol glanced at her.

"Yes."

Before they could continue their strained conversation they heard the honking of a car. The only thing Elena saw before everything went black; was a car coming at them and Kol turning his back to her in order to shield her from the glass flying at them.

* * *

He saw it happen. A driver who lost control of his car and slided towards the black SUV.

Damon stopped in the middle of the road, jumping out of his car. A woman in her late fifties – who had stopped too – grabbed his phone when he held it out to her.

"Call 911." He breathed before taking off in the direction of the first body.

The adrenaline was pumping fast through his veins and his heart was beating so hard. He'd almost reached the lifeless body at the side of the road, when another couple stopped in order to help the other driver who'd lost control over his car.

"Kol." Damon breathed as he reached the young man, recognizing him.

He'd been flying through the window – he must've been – because the car was lying upside down on the other side of the road. As Damon examined his face, he could see blood gurgling out of his ears, tiny pieces of glass was scattered all over his face.

Letting his eyes wander over the body, he realized the crazy position Kol was in. His legs were twisted and so was his arm. His entire body seemed to be twisted in a way Damon hardly couldn't stand to see – but he forced himself.

"Kol, come on, wake up. Come on."

Suddenly, his eyes flickered and he stared at Damon, his entire body shaking, convulsing in pain.

"El.. e.. na." He winced, blood sputtering out of his mouth as he tried to speak.

"Calm down." Damon said looking around, his eyes landing on the woman he'd given his iPhone to.

"Ambulance is on its way!" She yelled at him, collecting a blanket from her car.

"Elena." Kol groaned.

"She's fine." Damon reassured him. "She's with Grayson."

"No, she's..." He started hyperventilating, more blood coming out of his mouth. "She's…" He breathed. "She was… She's pregnant, Damon. She was in the… in the car with me."

"What?" Damon gasped, his eyes widening with fear. "Elena?"

"She's pregnant." He tried lifting his arm to grab Damon's jacket. "She's pregnant. Go, go get her out."

"Watch him!" Damon yelled at the lady behind him. "Watch him, make sure he stays awake and where the hell is the ambulance?"

He got up from the ground and started running towards the crashed vehicle. His heart was beating out of his chest, fear grasping his heart. His feet moved without control. The thought of losing her was unbearable.

"Elena!" He shouted as he got closer to the car. "Elena!"

He jumped down into the ditch, adrenaline pumping through him. She had to be okay, she had to be okay. The car was mashed and the gasoline from the car leaked out into the grass, spreading a terrible stench in the air.

"Elena!"

He reached the driver's seat. He had to use all of his strength to pulled the door open.

"Elena." He panted. "Baby, come on." He said as he reached her.

She was conscious but dazed, still fastened in her seatbelt – he thanked the human who invented it and prayed that she was okay.

"Damon." She whispered, her voice shaking.

"I'm right here. I'm going to get you out."

"It hurts." She started crying. "Damon."

"I know." He cradled her face with his hands. "Baby, you have to stay awake. Come on, 'Lena, stay with me. "

He worked on getting the seatbelt away from her, pulling at it with all his strength.

"Damn it." He growled as he failed to succssed.

"Pocket knife," She said slowly. "In the glove compartment.

He was quick to cut her loose, carefully dragging her out of the car.

He scooped her up in his arms and the sirens of an ambulance could be heard.

* * *

Elena had been asleep for almost 11 hours and no one had been allowed to visit her yet. When she woke up, her head was spinning and she felt more sore than usual when she woke up. She felt nauseous. The walls were ivory white and the beeping of a heart monitor annoyed her ears. She slowly turned her head to the side, glaring at the monitor. When she realized that she was in the hospital, panic kicked in.

How did she end up in the hospital? They'd been on their way home. _'They.' _A car crash. Hospital... Kol? Oh, no. _Kol! _Small bits from the accident flashed before her eyes and she gasped.

Beyond the enormous pain she felt when moving into a sitting position; none of her bones seemed to be broken.

She had to find him. Was he hurt? Was he... Instead of falling apart completely – she threw the covers aside.

She put her hands over her mouth, trying to hold back the shocking sound that slipped through her lips._ Blood._ The sheets beneath her were covered in blood. Her hands quickly moved from her face to her thighs, pulling up the white hospital gown, staring at the panties. She wasn't imagining. She was bleeding. A lot.

"Help." She croaked. "Help."

Her voice didn't seem to understand what her brain wanted it to do, so she took a deep breath and cried out for help, ignoring the red button beside the headboard of the bed.

"Somebody please help me!"

Seconds later, a young nurse rushed into the room. When she noticed the blood, her face turned pale.

"Help me, please help me." Elena's hands were covered with blood.

"Miss, you were in an accident. You should lie down. I'll go get the doctor."

"But my baby, please. Don't leave."

"I'll be right back." She reassured and left Elena behind.

Small droplets of salty tears started to run down her face.

She felt petrified; she didn't even dare to move.

Her whole body started shaking, the tears fell freely and there was nothing she could to to stop it.

* * *

She sat up when the door to her room slowly swung open. Her body was beyond sore but that didn't stop her from moving. Damon's blue eyes locked on hers, creating a feeling of safety. She tried smiling at him but failed miserably when her jaw hurt.

He sat down at the chair beside her bed. For a moment or two they just stared at each other. His hand found hers. He caught her staring at their intertwined hands.

"Elena."

"I meant to tell you." She whispered, her lower lip quivering.

"I know."

"I never thought you'd find out like this. I never wanted you to find out like this." She could feel the tears threatening to fall, burning behind her eyelids.

"I know."

"I'm sorry." She let a couple of tears fall.

"It's okay." He leaned forward, kissing her knuckles, stroking his nose along her fingers.

"No it's not."

"I'm just glad that you're alive."

Elena dried a couple of her tears and smiled weakly at him. However, it wasn't a real smile – it was a fake one that contained more pain than she thought was even possible.

"I have to tell you something and this time I'm doing the right thing by telling you."

Damon could see fear appear in her brown eyes, cursing himself for what he was about to do to her. It would hurt her but it would be for the best. Right now; he would simply be in the way of the recovery process she would have to go through after the pregnancy went wrong and Kol dying.

"I'm going back to L.A."

"What?" She stammered, her face turning white. "I don't understand."

"Trust me, it's for the best." He said quietly, turning his gaze to the floor.

"Why are you doing this to me? My fiance just died and now you're leaving me? How can you do this to me?"

At those words he felt incredibly guilty. He could barely look at her. She was already heartbroken due to the circumstances he didn't want to think of.

"Please." She shook her head at his words. "Don't do this to me."

"Kol... died and you need to mourn... and cry." Damon said quietly. "I can't be here while you're doing that."

"I need you." She whimpered, her tears falling freely.

"I know." He nodded, bringing her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles once again. Her skin was so cold. "Your whole life, you've always had someone else to depend on – first me and then Kol. It might sound harsh but you have to learn how to depend on yourself and stand on your own two feet."

"Don't do this." She cried. "Damon, please, don't leave me. I can't go through this alone."

"You're not alone, 'Lena. You still have your family."

"Everything hurts."

I know it hurts." He stroked away some of her tears. "I'll see you soon."

"I can't do this." She whimpered as he put his arms around her tiny frame. "I can't. I'm not strong enough."

He climbed onto the bed, placing her in his arms, holding her close as she cried, staining his shirt with her salty tears.

"Yes, you are." He mumbled. "You can do this."

"Please, don't leave me." She begged, her voice breaking. "Damon, please. You can't leave. Not now."

"I know that you don't understand it, but I'm doing this for you."

Damon knew that she wouldn't understand it, but he had to let her go – once again – in order to make her stronger. He was shocked about Kol's death and he knew that Elena would fall to pieces because of it. He didn't want to be the one to hold her together or be the one to put the pieces back together; it would cause problems and he wasn't what she needed at the moment. She might think that he's what she needs, but he's not.


End file.
